I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
