Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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