if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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