It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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