There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
