am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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