I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
