The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
