I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I stole a fireplace last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
