you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
