I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
MIDGETS
????
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
A+ Viking dick
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
