Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
