I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
