im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
