Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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