Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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