Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
