somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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