i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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