his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
