About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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