The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
