belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
