Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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