We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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