Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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