it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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