he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
NoShamevember. You game?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
