you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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