We got so high we made milksteak
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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