Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
