FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
