All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
