is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
His nipple licking is glorious
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