how can u be prego again
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
