apparently the secret to your success is patron
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
