Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
