There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
