i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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