all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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