you have to choose: penises or morals?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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