You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
