who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
