i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You have to summon your inner elephant
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
