I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
