So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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