i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
