She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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