if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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