shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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